There's No You in Qantas
Wherein our narrator enjoys some in-flight
entertainment.
There has never been an in-flight fatality on a
Qantas flight. This makes Qantas by far the safest major airline in the world.
In ranking, I think Qantas comes in 11th or 12th largest - right behind
Singapore, and maybe China Airlines. It is the monopoly carrier in Australia,
although it is now facing some competition from Virgin Blue (Richard Branson,
cherry picking once again) and has been forced to start up a low-cost carrier,
branded as JetStar, to carry passengers to inexpensive holiday destinations.
They may offer cheap flights, but no way that'll cut into their lucrative
profits in the intercity trade. At least, not
now.
I've flown Qantas before, on my
trip to Melbourne in November for SPAA. It was comfortable and efficient. Same
today. Although I struck out early, I didn't get to the airport till about 7:30
- for a flight that left at 8:15 AM. In the US, that would have meant I'd miss
my flight, what with security and all. And although the line at the check-in
counter was quite long, it moved quickly, so by 7:45 I was on my way to the
gate, and onto the plane.
So not only
is this a cheap flight, courtesy FUTUREPROOF, I'm in the cheap seats. There are
29 rows on this 737-800, and I'm sitting in row 28. This is only marginally
alleviated by the fact across the isle from me is David Barda, a man-about-town
in Sydney, publisher of IF Magazine (which is all about Australian cinema
production) and someone who is growing to be more-than-an-acquaintance,, if only
because we're seeing each other so
often.
One good thing: the in-flight
entertainment included an episode of the Australian sitcom "Kath & Kim,"
which everyone has been telling me is the best comedy on Australian TV. Having
now seen an episode, I believe it. Headphones on, I was probably making quite a
scene of myself, because I was laughing out loud (and quite loud) at a couple of
points. Cardonnay, anyone? (It's French. The "haich" is silent.) It's full
of Australianisms - and so I was informed - but I'm getting enough of a grasp of
the culture here (after all, I do work with filmmakers and creatives who are
supposed to be keen observers of Australian culture) that I could get at least
most of the jokes. It's actually a universal comedy, in the wicked strain of
"Absolutely Fabulous" - something that works well in the UK and Australia, but
would probably be perceived as too cruel in America. Except, of course, for
"The Simpsons," which somehow manages to break every rule of expectations, and
succeeds, perhaps because of that. Or did. "The Simpsons," after thirteen
seasons, is beginning to look more like a dissociative diatribe written by a
bunch of pre-psychotic media studies
academics.
Ah, the captain is on the
PA, announcing that it's 16 degrees in Adelaide - brrr, I brought light clothes,
because it *was* 34 in Adelaide last week - and telling us we've gone below
10,000 feet, on our way into land. Soon they'll ask me to turn the iBook off.
Ah. There is is. And so to sleep.
Posted: Sun - March 7, 2004 at 09:52 AM