October is the Cruelest Month


Wherein our narrator, typing on his keyboard at a succession of airports, air planes, etc., relates the harrowing tale which led him to nearly cancel his trip, but, with the intervention of a Deux Ex Machina, is assured a happy ending.

I haven't posted a blog entry since a few hours after Ahnold became Governor-elect of California. Well, more precisely, I did type one in on Wednesday, but iBlog, despite its charms, seems to have eaten it.

So, to recap: On Wednesday morning I woke up at 6 AM and started to call the Australian Embassy again, assuring them I could be reached in San Diego. About an hour and a half later, I got a call from Beth Foster at the embassy. Lo, she exists, and is not just the figment of some voice mail demon.

She says they've received my application. Good, I say. But, she says, she's never seen a US citizen file this visa (form 456 for a 456 visa) before. What? Why did you file it? Because that's what AFTRS told me to do, I said. OK, well, you could have filed the form 977 visa. Online.

Online. In other words, all of this weeks of waiting in limbo has been completely, utterly unnecessary. She tells me that we can continue with the visa process - but several other pieces of documentation will be required, including a letter of recommendation from Malcolm, Dean of AFTRS, letters of recommendation from folks in the US, my c.v., etc. In other words, a *lot* of stuff. Or she can cancel this and file a 977 visa request. Which will go through that day. All I have to do is send a cover letter indicating that I wish her to do this.

I ask her for her fax number, and twenty minutes later she has the document. She says she'll send an email that evening, with the tracking number for the overnight return of my passport.

I can hardly believe it. I'm pissed, but I'm also elated. I'm finally going.

I type all of these details in an email to Peter Giles and send it off. He's very happy that we're nearing the end of all this madness, and chagrined that I've been on the ground for nearly three weeks, waiting for permissions that we never needed. I call United and make plane reservations; that's a story in itself: because I'm flying on miles, using a "Saver" award (which means they only deduct 60,000 of the 79,000+ miles I have in my account) I can't just immediately request any seat on any plane. I have to wait for availability. As it turns out, if I had my passport in hand, I could have flown out that night. Otherwise, I need to wait until Saturday (when is when I'm writing this) to leave. And I can't take the direct flight from LA. I have to fly to SFO, then take the direct flight to Sydney from there. Puddle jump, then fly across the Great Puddle.

About the return: I wanted to return before Christmas, ideally on Friday the 19th of December. No go. The earliest I could manage was the 28th, my sister's 40th birthday. So I'll be in Australia for Lithia (heh) and Christmas. Well, actually I kind of wanted to be in Australia for Christmas, enjoying the holiday as midsummer festival rather than midwinter. But I didn't really want to miss spending time with my family. Now, the choice made for me, I can have my cake and eat it too. Whee!

And so it goes. I actually consider packing, though I don't get around to it until Friday morning.

Thursday was somewhat more complex. I basically do as little as possible during the day - because I'm feeling a touch of my seasonal depression, I suppose, and San Diego has been little but gloomy since I arrived two weeks ago. But at around 5 PM, I get an email from Peter Giles:

Mark,

did the embassy talk to at all about this 977 ETA regarding whether you need to
be a registered company (as opposed to an individual) to work in Australia? Our
HR manager is a little worried about this aspect of the visa - just wondering
whether this was addressed in your conversations with the embassy and whether
you have anything in writing from them? Is it possible to contact the washington
embassy again about this or to pass on the embassy contact to me for us to chase
up directly?

Peter

Gah. That's the only thing I can think to say. I do believe I mentioned that I was working for myself, but I'm not really sure - the call was very early in the morning, and, quite frankly, I was glad to be nearing the end of the tunnel. The HR manager is "worried" - this is clearly code for "doesn't think it's going to work out" - and what does this mean? It means, in short, they're not sure they can employ me when I get there. That's just about the last thing I need to hear, right about now. Just when I thought everything was going so swimmingly.

Watch Mark lose it. I've been treated to the whipsaw that is the immigration process in Australia - Peter reported in an earlier email that he asked three different people if the 977 visa was correct and got three different answers - and all I want now is some stability. One way or another. If that means pulling the plug on this whole mess, so be it.

So, shortly after I sent a "well, look into it, Peter" note, I sent another one:

Peter -

I believe it’s now time for me to express some things clearly

This whole visa situation has passed so far beyond anything that might normally be construed as reasonable as to cause me to question the entire effort required to consult for AFTRS.
The fact that there is still no reasonable answer on this question is unbelievable, the fact that people are still raising more questions is even more unbelievable.
I am now quite concerned that if I get on a plane on Saturday night, I’ll only find out when I get to Sydney that it will not be possible for me to be paid by AFTRS, because I have the wrong visa, or because nobody knows if I have the right visa, or whatever.
I am unwilling to get onto a plane unless and until someone at AFTRS assures me definitively that, no matter what problems we encounter, I will be working there and I will be paid.

I believe this is all perfectly reasonable. Given the trouble I have put myself through on your behalf, I believe it entirely reasonable to expect nothing less before I get on a plane.

I am aware that it is Friday in Australia; I hope you can get some answers for my concerns today. If you do not, then I will not be coming to Sydney on Monday, and, quite frankly, I may not come at all. This is getting to be far too much trouble.

Mark

One of the things I've learned over my years is how to bare my teeth, but gently, subtly, so that people are quite clear that I'm perturbed, with actually scarring them in the process of so informing them. Truth be told, I used to be a lot less gentle, and an email I might have sent in 1995 after having been through what I've been through probably would have cause the recipient's computer to explode upon receipt. Fortunately I've matured - for the most part, so all I do is send a gentle, veiled threat: fix this now or I'm not coming.

Sydney is a small town; I'm doing emails with Shilo - who got me this position - and Brendan. Between the two of them they know everyone in the interactive community in Sydney, a community which expecting my imminent arrival. Indeed, I had to cancel a paid speaking gig in Sydney for today because I wasn't there. (I offered to appear via iChat AV, but that was a no go. Whatever. They're missing the point.) Both offer to call Peter - in fact, I had to command Shilo to put down the phone - to find out what was wrong, and what could be done. But I was sure I had lit an appropriate fire under Peter. He'd fix it, or he's watch this whole scheme come flaming to earth. Which would be quite a black eye for all concerned. Excepting your humble narrator, the victim of this bureaucratic snafu.

I heard nothing for five hours. Then Peter wrote me back:

Mark,
Sorry to confuse you. Our HR Dept was not willing to guarantee that we could pay
you under the ETA 977. They got legal advice on this and had to go to Malcolm to
make the final call on guaranteeing to pay you while you were here. A maze of
bureacracy that you probably didn't need to know about except that you were
about to get on a plane and it needed to be resolved once and for all. Could you
please let me know that you have successfully received Malcolm's email - it's
intended to confirm for everyone that the School still wants this to go ahead
and there is no doubt about anything.

Peter

Well, at least he's gotten the Dean involved. But as I read this I haven't seen Malcolm's email, and it's 5:30 PM on a Friday afternoon in Australia. No, knowing Australians as I do, it seems unlikely that anyone is still at AFTRS at this hour. By this point I've decided, reservations or not, that I am not getting on a plane on Saturday night unless and until I have definitive confirmation that I will be able to work and be paid under this visa. I'll sit here and stew under my own juices, if that's what it takes. And if it's not cleared up by Tuesday, I'll pull the plug.

Fortunately, about a half hour later - minutes after the Moon has gone full, I get the following email from Malcolm:

Dear Mark,

I'd like to confirm your three month consultancy at AFTRS starting Monday 13th
October to assist us formulate new curriculum in the field of interactive media.
We have had legal advice the AFTRS can pay you as previously negotiated under
the terms of your ETA 977 visa. You will be have tax deducted from your pay but
can re-claim this amount when you exit Australia and declare it as US income.

We very much look forward to working with you and regret that the visa process
has been so fraught with obstructions.


Malcolm Long
Director
Australian Film Television and Radio School

There it is, the definitive Deus ex Machina. The god of AFTRS has spoken from the heights of Olympus. I have received the commandment. I am coming, I am working, and everything is fine.

I suddenly begin to feel a lot better.

Which explains why I am now sitting at gate 73, terminal 7 of LAX, waiting for a shuttle flight to SFO. At long last, I am on my way.

Posted: Sat - October 11, 2003 at 07:18 PM        

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