California Über Alles


Wherein our narrator witnesses the passing of the torch to a new generation. Of Kennedys.

He gave a short speech, and a better showing - and not just in votes - than any other candidate this evening. Tom McClintock was gracious, because he has his eyes on Barbara Boxer's senate seat, up next year. Cruz Bustamante went onstage at 9 PM and was still talking at 10:30, and it wasn't clear to me that he actually ever conceded. (I'm still not sure he has.) Fortunately CNN cut him off when they realized he was just blathering on and on and on. Gray Davis actually looked happier in his loss than he ever looked during the campaign - almost ebullient. Perhaps he could feel the level of hatred that had been building since the electricity crisis of 2001 (as a Los Angeleno, with my own, municipal power company, I never felt the pinch, or the rate hikes), and the dot-com crash, and the persistent recession lift off his shoulders. Onto someone else with undeniably broader shoulders, tested against a heavier load. Of free weights.

I'm relieved too. It's over. That in itself is actually something that's sweet to savor; the temporary insanity that swept through California over the last 77 days is over. It has, perhaps, been replaced by a more lasting form of the illness, as a man that most would acknowledge as a single-minded megalomaniac assumes the mantle of office. All hail Arnold Schwartzenegger, Governor of the State of California.

Let's be clear about this: we Californians have taken the SUV of the political process and driven straight off the map. This is not Ronald Reagan, who was well versed in political affairs before he became governor. Yes, Arnold ran a successful initiative campaign back in 2002, and that does count for something. But we must admit that we have elected a man purely on the basis of his box-office appeal. There were no issues he stood for, no promises made (save repealing the car tax, which he has the power to do) but while that might have condemned another candidate to obscurity, in Arnold his complete lack of authority is a positive asset. He is the Californian tabula rasa, the blank slate upon which we can project all of our California dreaming.

I am Governor Terminate
My aura smiles
I never wait
Soon I will be president

Davis power will soon go away
I will be Fuhrer one day
I will command all of you
Your kids will bodybuild in school

California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California

Zen fascists will control you
100% natural
You will jog for the master race
And always wear the happy face

Close your eyes, can't happen here
Big Bro' on white horse is near
The robots won't come back you say
Fall in line or you will pay

California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California

Now it is 2004
Knock knock at your front door
It's the suede/denim secret police
They have come for your uncool neice

Come quitely to the camp
You'd look nice as a drawstring lamp
Don't you worry, it's only a shower
For your clothes here's a pretty flower

Die on organic poison gas
Serpent's egg's already hatched
You will crack, you little clown
When you mess with Terminator

California Uber Alles
Uber Alles California

etc, etc. It's just too easy to twist a few lyrics, here and there, and end up with something interesting.

Nightline is just finishing up, and I'm through listening to Ted Koppel, et. al, explain why governing California won't be easy, particularly when both houses of the legislature are ruled by the opposite party. But that's presuming that the Governor-elect is cast in the same mold as any other politician they've seen before. He isn't. He is ruled by charisma, and while politicians may understand the ego-drive, charisma is rare (as I reported last evening) and will affect the entire political process in weird & unpredictable ways. Let me state it again: we have driven off the map, and everything we thought we knew ain't necessarily so.

In some way, the most interesting image of the evening was the stage where Arnold made his victory speech, crowded as it was with Shirvers and Kennedys, so many that he claimed the stage was actually full with them. Given the way the Kennedys breed, he probably wasn't far off the mark. In conversation with my friend Steven, another longtime political junkie, we noted that perhaps this was the new evolution of the Kennedy political power base. Now that the Democrats seem to be in decline, they're branching out into the territory of moderate Republicans. It's a smart move, because the political polarization (covered in "The Civil WarS") has deprived American politics of a vital center. And if the country doesn't disintegrate into civil war, the center is the place to be. The Kennedys, despite all their liberal posturing, have always been centrist Democrats, and this slight move to the right means that the family political dynasty is staking out new territory in the universe next door. An Anschluss, of sorts, of a next-door neighbor.

Which is why the Shrivers and Kennedys were all smiling so broadly tonight. They are moving Right. And West.

Posted: Wed - October 8, 2003 at 12:23 AM        


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