From: email@example.com (Noah Raford)
Subject: There is a God and it is funky!
Date: 13 Nov 1995 22:08:58 -0700
YES! I just had a fabulous weekend! Let me share with you the fantastic unfolding of events that occured between Saturday and Sat. night. I worked all Saturday from 9 AM to about 7 PM and when I got home, I was exhausted. There was a party going on at a new dance hall in Denver called Club Synergy that looked to be the bomb. But it was 18+ and I'm a few months shy of that 'monumental' <snicker> date. So naturally I was bummed that I wasn't going to be able to dance and be free. I sat around and wallowed for a little while, when some friends convinced me I should go. The truth of their urgings suddenly became undeniable. "What the fuck am I doing at home all depressed?! I should at least TRY!" So I put on my phattie outfit, blue and white checkered polyester bells, a funky DubTribe shirt, and a big grin (independant, of course, from whatever I was wearing) and hit the road.
I arrived at the club (I normally don't hit the clubs at all, in favor of the raves but on this niight, the party was at this place. Who am I to deny grooves?!) and parked on the street. As I walked up to the door, I was trying to think of a way to get in. Believe me, I'm not advocating sneaking in to parties! Pay your fees so they can continue! I also know certain locations it is against the law for minors to be on the premises after a certain hour. But I've always viewed age as an indeterminate, fairly banal judge of things and on this night, I couldn't quell the urge to dance. Then I realize I'd locked my keys in the car. OH FUCK! I was screwed, bigtime.
What the hell was I going to do? I asked a cop if he could open it for me but they don't do that anymore. I was faced with deciding which window to break. And then I reached in my pocket and wonder of wonders, FOUND MY TRIPPLE A CARD! This is highly unusual for me to carry, it has been sitting on my stereo for the last few weeks or so. For some reason as I booked it out the door that night, I thought it might be a good idea to take it. Well hell yeah it was!
With that crisis solved, I knew I could get it open anytime so I went back to the door. The guy asked for my ID. "It's locked in my car, man!" He shook his head and grinned, letting me in. And this was just the beginning. Within, I met the funky and the fresh, brand new friends and old ones too. Everyone was dancing and having an awesome time. The DJs spun a funky house/disco mix all night long that just made you explode in a flurry of dance moves.
And to think! None of this could have happened if I hadn't locked my keys in the car! The cosmos is a fantastic and twisted place my friends. Love it up!
The AAA Funkster Noah!