From: (Jon Beck)
Subject: djing

Oh yeah, technics turntables are actually satellite receptors that tap into gaia-one and draw energy out through the conductive receptors in the tone arm. The disc (or vinyl/record/wax/UMMM THATS GOOD DRUGS I CAN KEEP FOREVER!) is actually like a key or access node into the massive amounts of energy in gaia-one. The art of mixing comes from the dance the dj must do in order to attract hyper dimensional space elves who are masters of aligning musical energy. The dance is done by holding your hand on the pitch slider and moving it really slowly. The elves decide when the beats line up and you must put your faith in them. Then if you take your time and appeaze all the forces that be circling around the room as your mix, a dimensional portal may be opened if the musics align properly (but nothing will happen if they are not). This dimensional portal gets created when the energies flowing from one disc can find room to continue to flow as the other disc gets louder. If one disc pushes the other disc "off" it's river of sound the effect is ruined. Through this dimensional portal you have direct access to the ear/energies of the gods and godessess of gaia (most people call them aliens/angels) Once you do this once they can reset your internal compass so that your path goes to, hmmm, the happy place. This is how I mix.

Watch out which records you play or you may end up in a dimensional of beautiful busty bondage biker babes with bad additudes, whips and hmmm, maybe I should just let you explore...

____________________/        ansiElf        \____________________
                    \   muchachamuchbassa   /

Date: Thu, 18 Apr 1996 08:38:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: Rick Riffle <>

I agree entirely, except you don't need beats to make it happen. The elves, who I believe actually live in the vinyl (because each record is an entire reality/consciousness itself) communicate with each other as the new record is being cued up, and try to come into agreement as to how the mix will work. If they agree, the portal opens up between the two records even before the new one is turned up. Sometimes you can even hear sounds from the new records seeping through even before it's turned up. (this has happened a few times to me, and I tell ya, it is totally wierd when it does.) Oh yea, it also doesn't take "technics" to make it happen either. My tables are Numark. Technics are probably just higher quality receptors.