From: faxlabel@sirius.com (charles uzzell-edwards)
Date: Wed, 21 Feb 1996 19:08:34 -0800
Subject: so you wannna be a chill dj?
smoke more spliff than anyone else in the chill room (even if you dont like marijuana,its part of the image)
get used to playing in strange areas (ambient toilets/closets/tunnels/tents/car parks/traffic islands)
If no-one in your area is into chill rooms, get busy and D.I.Y.
work out a really simple explanation of 'what is ambient music then?' you will be asked it a lot
never mention 'new age' when you describe ambient or your brain will explode and you will be killed
make up a reaLLY ambient dj name like DJ 'I like to dress up as an alien'
wear a silly hat or a strange article of clothing that shows you are ambient (dressing as an alien is cool)
get used to people telling you they want to hear hip hop.
get used to people telling you that 'jungle' isnt 'ambient' enough for a chill room. bollocks.
remember that you are a chill room shaman and people who throw things at you are really worshipping you
get used to people who are 'into' ambient who ask if you have any deep forest
practice saying "I am not a jukebox" and use this when you get any crap requests
get used to people dry humping on bean bags as you perfect your kraftwerk/Monkees mix
dont ever kid yourself that being a chill dj will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. it wont.
Ignore anybody who tells you what is and isn't ambient or is or isn't 'chill' enough
watch out for 'deck divers' this is a phenomenon where people will try and jump onto the turntables.
when you finish playing never leave your most valuable and rare cd in the cd player
get used to the 'black out effect' where people trip over the power cables and turn everything off
get off on people staring bewildered at the empty turntables rotating while you play a cd
never expect anybody to pay you any money for djing for 8 hours: after all you are only the chill dj
play a lot of debussy. It really freaks people out.
when your spouse destroys your turntables because she doesn't like you djing, learn to shrug it off and go out and dj.
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smoke more spliff than anyone else in the chill room (even if you dont like
marijuana,its part of the image)
but don't take acid, or you'll forget you're the one spinning those cool records while you're transfixed in the sleeve art they came in.
get used to playing in strange areas (ambient toilets/closets/tunnels/tents/car parks/traffic islands)
don't forget staircases. one turntable on each step :-)
never expect anybody to pay you any money for djing for 8 hours: after all you are only the chill dj
what! chill dj's get paid !!!
don't forget these:
get used to people assuming you either sell acid/extacy or know someone with you that does just because you are playing "trippy" music.
expect the "second string" as far as the equipment goes (turntables, speakers, mixers....)
and most importantly:
get used to not hearing what you spin due to having to compete w/ large dance rooms w/ large speakers, or your speakers conveniently placed in a way that they are drowned out by the "dance" rooms, or even worse having to compete w/ generators and/or film projectors.
but also learn to appreciate the times when you have taken someone on a journey or even bringing them back from a trip because of what you are spinning. that's what really counts.
david *+*