Date: Tue, 12 Apr 94 01:37:14 MDT
Subject: Little Red Raver Girl fairy tale!!
Little Red Raver Girl by Noah "juggler" Lee (respect to the original of course)
[ed's note: This evolved from a trip to Albuquerque for the Orbital X rave. We had to keep ourselves entertained on the four hour drive with no radio or tape deck. Gotta do something!!]
Once upon a time, cuz, heck, what better time than that, there lived Little Red Raver Girl. She was a happy little girl who loved to wear baggy overalls and the grooviest striped shirts. Her red pigtails and keen shoes could charm the Blow-Pop (tm) out of any raver's mouth.
Well, it seems that Little Red Raver Girls's promoter grandmother was not feeling so hot cuz an event she was throwing wasn't going so great. Little Red Raver Girl decided to take a skippity trip over to her grandma' s house to deliver some lollipops, a new whistle, and a hit of X. She only wanted Grandma Promoter to feel better. :)
Little Red Raver Girl set out into the scary city with a warning from her tired out hippy mother, who warned her of the evils of the world. As usual it went in one ear and out the other. Little Red Raver Girl only wanted peaz and unity and didn't like to hear about the bad people out there because they gave off such bad vibes.
Hippity, trippy skipping down the avenue whistling some housy, funky toon, Little Red Raver Girl hardly noticed the Big Bad Gothic Girl come out of the shadows of an alley.
"Whoa!" said Little Red Raver Girl, "You put quite a fright into me!"
"Yeah, whats new?" angrily replied the Big Bad Gothic Girl.
"Hey, you wanna sticker? I got heart stickers!! Or how about a lollipop?" asked Little Red Raver Girl.
"Nah, I don't want no stinking lollipop," gothically replied Big Bad Gothic Girl. "Where you think you're headed to in this dark, cold, miserable world of ours??"
"Well," said Little Red Raver Girl, "i'm off to see Grandma Promoter to deliver some goodies so she can be happy and throw the phattest event this side of the world."
"Big event eh?" interestingly replied Big Bad Gothic Girl. She thought to herself, "Hmmmm....you know I bet if I get those goodies I could throw a dark, scary event the way I want it."
"Well, I best be off now. Peace, love and unity to you Ms. Gothic Girl."
And Little Red Raver Girl was off. But so was Big Bad Gothic Girl. Seeing as how she hung out in dark alleys all night she happened to know a shortcut to Grandma Promoter's warehouse. She sped ahead to beat Little Red Raver Girl there.
Little Red Raver Girl continued on her way wondering why someone would paint their face chalk white and wear all black clothing on such a beautiful day. Just as she was daytripping this she ran into a funky phresh young man stepping from a record store.
"Yowza!" exclaimed Little Bloo DJ Guy, "Sorry about the bumping action there."
"Oh excuse me! I wasn't watching where I was going. Would you like a sticker? A lollipop?"
"Yeah! Sure! Thanks a lot!"
"Here ya go," said Little Red Raver Girl as she stuck on a groovy frog sticker onto Little Bloo DJ Guy's chest. She hands him a lollipop and asks, "Are you a DJ by any chance?"
"I certainly am! In fact i'm supposed to be spinning later at Grandma Promoters event. You going??"
"Yesssss!!! I'm her granddaughter! I'm Little Red Raver Girl! I bet you are Little Bloo DJ Guy then!" exclaimed she. Quite a good guess too seeing as how he had on a bloo hoody shirt with "Bloo DJ" in holographic type on it. She's quite the quick witted one ya know. :)
"Yep! That's me! I'm sooo happy to meet you! Hey, I gotta run but i'm going over to Grandma Promoter's Houze of Funky Toons for the Pre-Party, so I hope I see you there," said Little Bloo DJ Guy.
"You sure will. Be seeing you later!" happily exclaimed Little Red Raver Girl. And off went Little Bloo Dj Guy. Little Red Raver Girl breathed a sigh, for Little Bloo DJ Guy was sooo sweet and just the nicest guy she had met in the longest time. She really wanted to hear him spin and get to know him better. "Maybe at the pre-show," she excitedly thought.
Back at Grandma Promoter's Houze of Funky Toons, the bass was bumping as Grandma prepared for the rave and was stressing hard getting ready for the show. Then, all of a sudden a "ding, dong, boom boom boom" came from her specially designed doorbell.
"Who is it??" asked Grandma Promoter.
"Tis me! Little Red Raver Girl" replied a slightly gruff and not quite happy voice.
"I best let her in to help me and cheer her up. She sounds as bad as I do!" thought Grandma Promoter to herself and opened the door.
As soon as she had in leaped Big Bad Gothic Girl and she quickly tied up Grandma Promoter in a extra long pair of fishnet stockings and handcuffed her to the sink in the bathroom with her handcuff belt.
"You can't do this! It doesn't promote peace and unity!" cried Grandma Promoter. "Lemme go and i'll hook you up with a hit of X and you can dance all night with us and feel the groove. I guarantee you'll feel better."
"Nice try grandma. Stuff it," and Big Bad Gothic Girl promptly crammed a black candle into Grandma Promoter's mouth to quiet her down. She then went on to change the music to something much less happy and got into some of Grandma's clothes. "Ick...these are soooo bright and happy. I think i'll throw up."
At just about the time she was done there came a sound in the warehouse, "ding, dong boom boom boom."
"Yeah, who is it??" asked Big Bad Gothic Girl who was now dressed like Grandma Promoter.
"It's me!! Little Red Raver Girl!!" came the reply. "Let me in Grandma! We need to change that music and make you feel phresh!"
Big Bad Gothic Girl opened the door and let Little Red Raver Girl in.
"Why Grandma! What a pale, icky, clammy white face you have!" said Little Red Raver Girl.
"The better to scare you with my dear." came the reply.
"Why Grandma! What morbid, black fingernails you have!" exclaimed Little Red Raver Girl.
"The better to scratch off your face with you little happy hippie wanna be!!" yelled Big Bad Gothic Girl and she LEAPED from her baggies and pounced on Little Red Raver Girl.
Just at that moment the door swung open and in sped Little Bloo DJ Guy with his patented Bag O' DJ Music. He rapidly threw on the phattest of toons and started spinning and cutting it up as best as he could.
As he did this, a strange feeling overcame Big Bad Gothic Girl. She felt a pumping bass shaking her body. She felt a warmth overcome her entire soul. She wanted to stop almost, but she couldn't help herself from getting up off of Little Red Raver Girl and dance. She got down. She boogied. She threw massive moves. Little Red Raver Girl rushed to the john and freed Grandma Promoter. They went out to the dancefloor right as a large crowd had gathered at the door. The pre-party was in full effect and at the heart of it was Big Bad Gothic Girl dancing everyone into amazement. She gave everyone a hug and some a kiss she felt so good. The vibe was the best they had ever felt that night. Grandma's event went off like never before and was of legend promoter proportions. Little Bloo Dj Guy spun his best set and fell deeply in love with Little Red Raver Girl to everyones happiness.
And they lived happily ever after.
T h e E n d.
[The people in this story are totally fictional and any relation to anyone in real life is purely coincidence. Heck, I made it up on a trip for Christs sake!! :) Hope you liked it. You can reprint it, distribute it to anywhere you want as long as you don't modify it and keep my name attached to it as the author. Peace to all of you and keep the vibe alive. - - - Juggler [Noah Lee - firstname.lastname@example.org]