Date: Wed, 6 Dec 1995 22:20:52 -0800
From: (John S. Lee)
Subject: Solution to a plague that will divide us all

My brothers and sisters,

After some self-examination, and introspection, along with some of my own brand of self-criticism, I have come to a conclusion;I am a hypocrite.

I have for years preached the credo, I have even lived the credo of which I spoke, but I have come to realize, that even after all of this, my deep faith in my own lived convictions was but an edifice; it must be dealt with.

Yes, I have talked, and even acted on my own behalf in this matter, but I have NOT, I repeat, NOT taken any ACTION to make my deeds a reality, a tangible reality. So I confess to you, my brothers and sisters, so that I may find some compassion within you, that I might find the will and strength to take that final step. Yes, that final step from living my words, to acting on my words. Making my words *LIVING ACTION*. I like to call my step, LA for short, but bear with me, please. I have been remiss, and I will correct my mistake with great vigor.

For years I have lived and breathed the credo, now I offer my soltution for one and all. A solution to a plague that will, eventually, destroy the house we have all built. Yes, my brothers and sisters, I am taking my credo and making it real. BBYR, or better said "Bathe Before You Rave", will now be a reality at every event I attend!

For years, now I have taken showers or baths in preperation for my long nights of crackerjacking and raving. My preperation has guaranteed a certain comfort level, to those around me for 8 hours straight (or 8 hours gay as it may be) while dancing, and most certainly for the 4 hour brain cooldown at various dens on iniquity (like the onld DNA). From here on in, all of you, especially my most odiferous, funk laden, sosmellynotevensageorganjacansupressthaFUNK, bothers and sisters can rest assured, that I will act.

LABBYR - Live Action Bathe Before You Rave

I will:

-Notify my brtheren of thier funk, lest they sin against thy neighbor.
-At holiest of holies events I will carry perfumes, soaps, and other sundry items to releive my bretheren of thier plague, so that their days might be long, and odor free.
-At holiest of holies, bring in at least 2 portable showers, and baths for those who offend, to continue to attend. So sayeth me.
-Provide for thy bretheren that which they may not possess; give them water and soap.
-Provide copius incense for those unknowing of the offense they offer their bretheren.
-Be kind in the notice, but quick in the delivery of the cleansing. Do unto them, as you do unto yourself everyday.
-Be sure to bring a high powered water hose; for some funk of thy neighbor may require drastic measure, so sayeth me.
-And lastly, a sprinkle a day helps keep odor away.

Oh yes my brothers and sisters, I do have a calling, and cleanliness before raving is thy name!

Yours in the wash,
The Reverend Chief Boot Nocka

I seal my covenant with thee, now pass the Irish Spring!

A quick note:
You know, I have wondered what in the hell happened to my booty and bra girls of late. Man, I remember many an e filled night watching the bodies of so many fine sisters and sistahs shaking, moving, and grooving, in nothing but underwear (usually cheap, unless they are a dancer or something ;). Of late this hardly happens, even if it's friggin' 150 F in the place. And it was through examining this that I figured out the reason, and came up with the pact of cleanliness I share with you all. The reason is sweaty unshowered shirtless brothers and brothas, plain and simple. Hell, if *I* was a B5 kickin' betty, I damn wouldn't want some smelly dude trying to; freak me, talk to me, bump into me with his sweaty chest. And why do guys see it so fit to take of their shirts in the first place? I guess it's one of the unsolved mysteries of our time! I guess the booty and bra bettys will come back when dudes decide to clean up their act; literally!

Many smiles to you all! :):):)

And yes, I'm a bit anal about the whole thing, but damn, my shit rarely stinks! ;)

Peace out,